This year has the potential to be and already has been the year of really big changes and steps of faith.
First, I quit my job without having even having an interview. Big, big step for us. We knew that I needed a different environment. Then nothing was coming open and we were getting worried we knew it was a huge step of faith but we both felt like God was telling us to trust him. Finally two weeks before school started I got 3 interviews one of which I cancelled because I got the job that I wanted. I'm teaching a science lab that is a lot less stress. I don't have to bring home as much work which is what we were looking for. I was working till 5 and coming home and working till bed. Now when I'm home I'm home which means I can be a better wife and mom. Yes, it got scary knowing that the adoption agency would put us on hold if I didn't have a job when school started but God was faithful. And this job is in a town where we have a friend who will babysit so I don't have to use daycare.
We've taken some other big steps this year as well. We have no idea where the finances are coming for the adoption but we are trusting they will come. We've been awarded one grant so far.
Our lease was up but our landlords decided to wait a year to try to sell the house so we get to stay where we love.
And the agency said approximately 6-12 months of wait time which will be the best change ever.
Now if you know me you know how independent and planned I am. My life was planned for 10 years by 15. It doesn't have to go according to plan I just like to have my plan so therefore stepping out in faith making all these changes wasn't easy for me.
Add to that that adoption is not for the weak at heart. There are ups and downs, struggles, heartaches, hopes and triumphs. It is literally an emotional roller coaster. And when you are watching people with what you want most it is difficult. The past month has been especially hard. Then all of sudden things happen that feel like little kisses from heaven. Those little reminders that come when you need them the most that God hasn't forgotten you and that you are loved. We got those this weekend. My sister-in-law found this gorgeous bed online from someone for free. I'm going to have to sand and repaint it but that is ok. It is beautiful. My mom and I went shopping and I desperately needed pants thought I would get 2 pair maybe 3 if they were on sale got 4 instead. And then while looking at stencils in Hobby Lobby I met this girl who was able to tell me what I needed to paint on canvas and use as a primer and as we were talking about our projects she asked what I was doing and I said baby room but gender neutral. She was like oh they don't know so I shared our story and said an occasional project helps to taper off my need for nesting and hold it at bay. She finds me this awesome jungle stencil which I will go back and get if we get a boy. And her excitement for me a complete stranger rubbed off. Add to that that I can see some definite changes to my moms thinking and she is getting excited that we might be a different looking family as she put it and yes I definitely feel loved and remembered. It felt like a special kiss from God saying you aren't forgotten and I still love you.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
response to Pat Robertson
Well, I was going to do a long over due update. Been thinking of doing an update all week when I had time. I had all these things that I wanted to share. But alas I feel the need to address something else first, and let me start by saying this....
Shame on you, Pat Robertson. Shame on you.
Wow, believe it or not that made me feel a little better. I have been in an outgrage almost since I saw it today. Oh wait, you may or may not know to what I am referring to. A woman sent a letter to Pat Robertson saying she didn't understand why men wouldn't continue to date her after finding out she had 3 adopted girls from various countries. Pat Robertson's response "Men don't want the United Nations." Called it "taking on anothers problems" and saying "the kids grow up weird".
Don't get me wrong... people are allowed their opinions. I've even been told to my face that I shouldn't raise someone else's child. But here are 2 things.....
1) Keep your opinions to yourself.
Seriously, I don't care what they are. I really don't. To be honest, I have my opions and if you don't agree with me, then I don't want to hear it. I get opinions on us adopting and the fact that we have chosen to open ourselves up to races. Do I care what you think? No, it just frustrates me. Plain and simple I have to live the life God is leading me towards and lay aside all else and if that means adopting and becoming a blended family well, then that's what I'll do.
2) As a Christian, we are all adopted. The Bible is very clear where it stands on adoption. James 1:27 Says "Pure and unadulterated religion is to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress." Does this mean that everyone is called to adoption? By no means. There are other ways to take care of those in need. But by no means should you belittle those who are called to that or those who are adopted. Ephesians clearly states that we are all adopted into the family of God. Our very existence the basis of our Christian beliefs are that we have been adopted into the family of God. To say that standing up as a Christian figure on t.v. is beyond wrong. To be honest, I can't describe how wrong it is.
People are saying that maybe he is senile. That may be so, but maybe it's time to consider going home. Not representing Christians on t.v. That was neither a majority view nor was it a Christian view. There comes a time when you need to say I can't do this anymore. Mr. Robertson I believe you are there.
You did not just insult the people who adopted children, but the adopted children themselves saying they are weird. You said that we don't know what we will get, that they have been exposed to things. This is very true. However, people who adopt, and I'd say moreover those who choose the older child route know this. It wasn't chosen because it was the easy thing to do. It was the chosen path because it was the right thing to do. And by the way sir, there is no guarantee that a biological child will be "perfect." I'm not looking for perfect. I don't want the perfect child. I want the child that is supposed to be mine. The child that God has in mind for me. No this road isn't easy. It comes with lots of pain, frustration, and tears, but if I waited for the "easy" life, well, I wouldn't be doing much living and would be giving up a whole lot that God has for me.
Tonight, you will be in my prayers Mr. Robertson. Prayers for your salvation and retirement.
Shame on you, Pat Robertson. Shame on you.
Wow, believe it or not that made me feel a little better. I have been in an outgrage almost since I saw it today. Oh wait, you may or may not know to what I am referring to. A woman sent a letter to Pat Robertson saying she didn't understand why men wouldn't continue to date her after finding out she had 3 adopted girls from various countries. Pat Robertson's response "Men don't want the United Nations." Called it "taking on anothers problems" and saying "the kids grow up weird".
Don't get me wrong... people are allowed their opinions. I've even been told to my face that I shouldn't raise someone else's child. But here are 2 things.....
1) Keep your opinions to yourself.
Seriously, I don't care what they are. I really don't. To be honest, I have my opions and if you don't agree with me, then I don't want to hear it. I get opinions on us adopting and the fact that we have chosen to open ourselves up to races. Do I care what you think? No, it just frustrates me. Plain and simple I have to live the life God is leading me towards and lay aside all else and if that means adopting and becoming a blended family well, then that's what I'll do.
2) As a Christian, we are all adopted. The Bible is very clear where it stands on adoption. James 1:27 Says "Pure and unadulterated religion is to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress." Does this mean that everyone is called to adoption? By no means. There are other ways to take care of those in need. But by no means should you belittle those who are called to that or those who are adopted. Ephesians clearly states that we are all adopted into the family of God. Our very existence the basis of our Christian beliefs are that we have been adopted into the family of God. To say that standing up as a Christian figure on t.v. is beyond wrong. To be honest, I can't describe how wrong it is.
People are saying that maybe he is senile. That may be so, but maybe it's time to consider going home. Not representing Christians on t.v. That was neither a majority view nor was it a Christian view. There comes a time when you need to say I can't do this anymore. Mr. Robertson I believe you are there.
You did not just insult the people who adopted children, but the adopted children themselves saying they are weird. You said that we don't know what we will get, that they have been exposed to things. This is very true. However, people who adopt, and I'd say moreover those who choose the older child route know this. It wasn't chosen because it was the easy thing to do. It was the chosen path because it was the right thing to do. And by the way sir, there is no guarantee that a biological child will be "perfect." I'm not looking for perfect. I don't want the perfect child. I want the child that is supposed to be mine. The child that God has in mind for me. No this road isn't easy. It comes with lots of pain, frustration, and tears, but if I waited for the "easy" life, well, I wouldn't be doing much living and would be giving up a whole lot that God has for me.
Tonight, you will be in my prayers Mr. Robertson. Prayers for your salvation and retirement.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Home Study Approved!
The past few months have been hard and involved lots and lots of waiting and frustration. It seemed like every time that it looks like we were almost approved something came up... another question, requirement, something. First it was questions and the adoption worker just being busy. Then it was more questions. Then it looked like we were going to have to refill out some paperwork that scared me to death. Then there were more questions. Then all we were waiting for was to take an adoption class that was required. We knew that may hold us up but it was only 2 more days so no big deal right? We were supposed to be signed approval the next week. So no biggie no stress.
We go to the class. It's somewhat helpful, somewhat not. It was, however, very emotional. We watched the episode of 16 and pregnant where the couple gave their baby up for adoption and used the Bethany offices in their state. I've seen it before, it's actually the only episode that I had ever seen. This time it was different, much more emotional and much harder to watch. I cried the majority of the episode, as did most of the other adoptive parents. A lot of talk was on the birthparents and how difficult it was for them. It was hard seeing it from this side, knowing the difficult task that they will have ahead of them. We also got to talk and hear from a panel of people: a couple who adopted, a birthmom, and a lady who has two older children who did a trans-racial adoption. It was quite educational and helpful.
So I knew the director was going to be out of the office till Wed. So I didn't panic or worry, but along comes Friday, no email or call. Then comes Monday, still nothing. So I had plans to call on Tuesday and before I called I got an email stating that our workers computer had "died" and she couldn't get into it to answer the questions that the director had, but it was finally working and she said hopefully within the next day if not it would be Friday because of a staff meeting. At this point, I was glad she thanked us for our patience and had appologized but I have to be honest I was losing my patience. Ten days past the meeting and a month and a half from the homestudy. I didn't understand what was holding us up. It's really hard to be patient and to show patience when your hopes and dreams are held up by one piece of paper. Not to mention that we couldn't start the grant process until we had an approved homestudy paper and grant applications are due in 10 days. If we miss this deadline the next is in August... so yes, I was beyond Frustrated. So Jimmy said we'll give it till next week, then we'll go face to face.
We'll today I got the call. Yes... we are FINALLY an APPROVED and WAITING family! All the tears, fears, and frustrations are more than worth it. My blessed neice asked how long now. When I said 6-12 months... she responded with wow, that's a long time! Yes it is, but after 3 years and 1 month to the day of waiting, to start a new wait time that hopefully will be a year or less... well, estatic doesn't really cover it. In fact, I celebrated with baby items. One I can't post pics of yet, because it's a present for Jimmy. The other was 2 canvases that I got that are perfect and really say how I feel. I'm also getting a portable high chair (for use later) and these awesome kimono booties. I am thrilled beyond measure. And if I thought the past few months have been hard waiting, I'm sure these will be miserable beyone measure! But oh to finally be able to say that we are truly waiting. I am blessed beyond measure.
We go to the class. It's somewhat helpful, somewhat not. It was, however, very emotional. We watched the episode of 16 and pregnant where the couple gave their baby up for adoption and used the Bethany offices in their state. I've seen it before, it's actually the only episode that I had ever seen. This time it was different, much more emotional and much harder to watch. I cried the majority of the episode, as did most of the other adoptive parents. A lot of talk was on the birthparents and how difficult it was for them. It was hard seeing it from this side, knowing the difficult task that they will have ahead of them. We also got to talk and hear from a panel of people: a couple who adopted, a birthmom, and a lady who has two older children who did a trans-racial adoption. It was quite educational and helpful.
So I knew the director was going to be out of the office till Wed. So I didn't panic or worry, but along comes Friday, no email or call. Then comes Monday, still nothing. So I had plans to call on Tuesday and before I called I got an email stating that our workers computer had "died" and she couldn't get into it to answer the questions that the director had, but it was finally working and she said hopefully within the next day if not it would be Friday because of a staff meeting. At this point, I was glad she thanked us for our patience and had appologized but I have to be honest I was losing my patience. Ten days past the meeting and a month and a half from the homestudy. I didn't understand what was holding us up. It's really hard to be patient and to show patience when your hopes and dreams are held up by one piece of paper. Not to mention that we couldn't start the grant process until we had an approved homestudy paper and grant applications are due in 10 days. If we miss this deadline the next is in August... so yes, I was beyond Frustrated. So Jimmy said we'll give it till next week, then we'll go face to face.
We'll today I got the call. Yes... we are FINALLY an APPROVED and WAITING family! All the tears, fears, and frustrations are more than worth it. My blessed neice asked how long now. When I said 6-12 months... she responded with wow, that's a long time! Yes it is, but after 3 years and 1 month to the day of waiting, to start a new wait time that hopefully will be a year or less... well, estatic doesn't really cover it. In fact, I celebrated with baby items. One I can't post pics of yet, because it's a present for Jimmy. The other was 2 canvases that I got that are perfect and really say how I feel. I'm also getting a portable high chair (for use later) and these awesome kimono booties. I am thrilled beyond measure. And if I thought the past few months have been hard waiting, I'm sure these will be miserable beyone measure! But oh to finally be able to say that we are truly waiting. I am blessed beyond measure.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The Profile Books are here!
It was actually kinda cool, because I was babysitting when they came in and the postal worker called because no one was home and asked where we wanted them left or if I wanted her to take them to the post office. I thought that was neat. I've never had that happen before and I'm extremely grateful.
So Jimmy got home first, and the sweetheart that he is waited until I got home so we could open together. I'm so excited. It'll probably be Thursday before I get them to the agency. I'm getting a new nephew tomorrow and I have an appointment in the same town on Thurs. So we'll probably just do it all in one day and make it so much easier. I can't wait ot get them to the agency. Hopefully we'll be being shown to parents very very soon! Yay!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Adoption Profile Book
So after many hours, lots of changes, and some tears at the end our profile book is finally done! I ordered it last night and it should be here by the 7th. Our adoption specialist is currently working on writing up our approved homestudy. So hopefully very soon we will be on the waiting list and our profiles being shown to birth parents. We are so excited! Hopefully the book will come in before then. In the mean time, I'll be working on job applications, adoption grants, and trying to recoup from school, and getting our online profile ready. God has been very gracious and has provided all our needs so far and I know He will be faithful to continue to supply them. Here is a sneak peak at our profile until then.
http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/interests/adoption-profile-book-7533518
http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/interests/adoption-profile-book-7533518
Friday, April 27, 2012
Home visit
So we have been scouring our house for the past 3 weeks. Particularly the past week. And I do mean scouring. Down to washing the outside of the house and window sills on the porch, mopping the porch, and finding every cobweb that is hiding in our house. All for the hour long visit with our social worker and a 10 minute walkthrough in our house. In ways you feel like all that cleaning and she just walked through! But on the other hand it's like Jimmy said.... It was just nice to have the peace of mind that our house was clean. In fact I don't know if it's ever been this clean. It's definitely time for pictures for both insurance and profile purposes.
Jimmy took off all week and I took off yesterday after lunch and today. My awesome mom and her friend came on Wed. and got things clean that I've been trying to get stains off of for a while. We also had a friend come and help us last weekend to wash the outside of the house and some cleaning inside. We bought mirrors, and decorative shower items, storage items, and hid massive amounts of school paper work. And yeah the walk through was 10 mins max!
But the good news is we are almost at approval! We are missing one piece of paperwork, a referral from Jimmy's boss, but other than that we are almost there. So we are fixing to light a fire under him, and we'll be good to go. Provided that he gets that in, we should be getting our written homestudy approval letter within about 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!! Nothing can really be done till the profile is ready, and I thought we had a little longer, but I'm definitely fixing to hit that hard and heavy and hopefully get it done within a week once school gets out.
Right now though, I've got to get resume's out because I've officially resigned my job so that is a definite must that must happen first. So hopefully within the next month we will hit the waiting list and be waiting and preparing to bring our baby home
I am filled with excitement. Knowing there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel and although we are probably looking at a wait of 6-12 months, it feels like it is really fixing to happen! I never knew this would be the way that God started our family, but I am definitely beginning to know and trust that his plan is better than anything I could ever have imagined. As a saying I saw on Pinterest said: "I'm in love with a child, I haven't met yet." I'm so thankful God knows better than I.
Jimmy took off all week and I took off yesterday after lunch and today. My awesome mom and her friend came on Wed. and got things clean that I've been trying to get stains off of for a while. We also had a friend come and help us last weekend to wash the outside of the house and some cleaning inside. We bought mirrors, and decorative shower items, storage items, and hid massive amounts of school paper work. And yeah the walk through was 10 mins max!
But the good news is we are almost at approval! We are missing one piece of paperwork, a referral from Jimmy's boss, but other than that we are almost there. So we are fixing to light a fire under him, and we'll be good to go. Provided that he gets that in, we should be getting our written homestudy approval letter within about 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!! Nothing can really be done till the profile is ready, and I thought we had a little longer, but I'm definitely fixing to hit that hard and heavy and hopefully get it done within a week once school gets out.
Right now though, I've got to get resume's out because I've officially resigned my job so that is a definite must that must happen first. So hopefully within the next month we will hit the waiting list and be waiting and preparing to bring our baby home
I am filled with excitement. Knowing there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel and although we are probably looking at a wait of 6-12 months, it feels like it is really fixing to happen! I never knew this would be the way that God started our family, but I am definitely beginning to know and trust that his plan is better than anything I could ever have imagined. As a saying I saw on Pinterest said: "I'm in love with a child, I haven't met yet." I'm so thankful God knows better than I.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sprinting to the finish line
We had our individual meetings and things went GREAT!!!! Jimmy's interview lasted about an hr and a half to two hours. Mine was over three hours! Of course I was the second one and she'd realized things that she'd forgotten to write down or ask and I was looking at profiles. We were both really nervous but once we got there, she has this way of calming us and making you feel at home. I didn't even realize I'd been there that long.
For those of you that wonder, the interviews cover a lot of your growing up. We talked about what my life was growing up, how we were disciplined, how we felt about adopting a child from a different race. They want to make sure that Jimmy and I are on the same page with our feelings and where we stand.
So from here, we have our home visit which will be the latter part this month. Now I'm in a panic on whether everything will get done or not. The house has to be cleaned, there are some things that I want to get organized before she comes. It's a lot all at once, things need to be bought and done. At the same time, I've got to get busy getting our profile done so that when we are approved it can go out. I also need to get applications done and start looking for grant applications. They are graciously going to write a letter to grant agencies stating that we will be homestudy approved shortly after the due date for the applications.
So things are rolling again and I'm getting very excited. It seems like there are these long periods of wait followed by an extreme sprint to the finish line. We are currently in a sprint in the mix of the end of school. This weekend I'm going home to my parents to work on some sewing projects for both a friend's baby gift and covering a rocking chair and high chair for myself. There are some other things I want to work on as time permits. I'm so excited it's not even funny. Estatic doesn't even cover it. It seems like we are getting somewhere... finally. Hopefully, soon, we'll have a baby of our own.
For those of you that wonder, the interviews cover a lot of your growing up. We talked about what my life was growing up, how we were disciplined, how we felt about adopting a child from a different race. They want to make sure that Jimmy and I are on the same page with our feelings and where we stand.
So from here, we have our home visit which will be the latter part this month. Now I'm in a panic on whether everything will get done or not. The house has to be cleaned, there are some things that I want to get organized before she comes. It's a lot all at once, things need to be bought and done. At the same time, I've got to get busy getting our profile done so that when we are approved it can go out. I also need to get applications done and start looking for grant applications. They are graciously going to write a letter to grant agencies stating that we will be homestudy approved shortly after the due date for the applications.
So things are rolling again and I'm getting very excited. It seems like there are these long periods of wait followed by an extreme sprint to the finish line. We are currently in a sprint in the mix of the end of school. This weekend I'm going home to my parents to work on some sewing projects for both a friend's baby gift and covering a rocking chair and high chair for myself. There are some other things I want to work on as time permits. I'm so excited it's not even funny. Estatic doesn't even cover it. It seems like we are getting somewhere... finally. Hopefully, soon, we'll have a baby of our own.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Individual interview 1 is down....
1 more to go. Jimmy had his today and I go tomorrow. Really nervous... and it doesn't help that he came home with a migraine so therefore he hasn't told me anything about it and I haven't wanted to ask. I told a friend that I was nervous about contradicting him and she literally laughed. But it was nice because she complimented how well we communicate most of the time. So hopefully sometime tonight he'll feel like giving me an update.
Really looking forward to getting off early tomorrow though. I need a break. It's the downslide of the year which is the roughest. I've got to figure out how we are going to get our profile done. I've got some friends who are willing to help us but will be leaving for some military training right before I get out of school and doing it while school is in is going to be a problem. I stress so bad then and have so much going on, we'll see how that works out. If any of my friends out there are super graphically enabled all help will be appreciated. Hopefully I'll get to see some tomorrow and maybe that'll help. Get an idea of how I want to do mine. I'll post more after my meeting tomorrow.
Really looking forward to getting off early tomorrow though. I need a break. It's the downslide of the year which is the roughest. I've got to figure out how we are going to get our profile done. I've got some friends who are willing to help us but will be leaving for some military training right before I get out of school and doing it while school is in is going to be a problem. I stress so bad then and have so much going on, we'll see how that works out. If any of my friends out there are super graphically enabled all help will be appreciated. Hopefully I'll get to see some tomorrow and maybe that'll help. Get an idea of how I want to do mine. I'll post more after my meeting tomorrow.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
More Waiting
The lack of posts recently show what we are really doing, lots and lots of waiting. We had some set backs when we realized paperwork didn't get sent in, but that has been covered and even though our time period is longer at least it is done. And more waiting ensued. We now have our individual interviews set up for the end of this week. Jimmy goes on Thursday and I go on Friday. Really nervous about this. Especially since he won't be with me. Nervous that I'll say the wrong thing, or contradict him on something. Which is really preposterous if you know how much we talk about what we want and how we want it. One thing we usually cover well is communication. In fact, we were asked out to dinner by his sister...their treat... and when he said he had to discuss it she about fell out! Discuss a free meal? Really? It was funny.
It's hard to explain though when you've never been there. Anyone who says adoption is easier than having your own child or tells a couple who can't have kids they should just adopt has obviously never been there or known someone who has. You have pregnancy symptoms of your own. They just aren't as easily recognizable to outsiders. And as my mother has said many times... "Until you know someone who has been there, someone close to you, you just don't get it." I thought I did, but now I know I didn't.
Jimmy and I have been going through some struggles and it's like he said "There are two things it seems God is trying to teach us... Patience and Dependence."
Patience- when your very dreams are held in someone elses hands and timeline, when the very thing you dream of is held in someone else's hand and they give you the requirements of you fufilling your dream, when you are watching everyone else get the one thing you long for the most some of them as a suprise and yet you are being delayed for various reasons....there is no choice but to develop patience.
Dependence- I am looking at a career change. It may be an outright change or just a change in schools but either may come with a drastic change in pay. And we know that with that will come dependence on God to meet our needs, which He is apparently testing now before it happens and perhaps testing our faith to see if we will take the step in faith and obedience, but in my heart I feel that to be a better wife and mother I need a job with a lot less stress. So for now I am job hunting albeit slowly and praying for God's will to be revealed. I ran across a job almost by accident the other day and am really praying that something comes of it. It combines two loves in my life and would be a drastic stress reduction and I am really praying that it comes about... although I am currently still contracted. However I have just under 8 weeks left, so maybe.....
It's interesting how when you are so sure God has called you to something, and you take that step that He then chooses to test your willingness and trust to take that step of faith.
So for now we wait and we trust. And I dream of all the baby stuff I want..... one day. One day at a time.
It's hard to explain though when you've never been there. Anyone who says adoption is easier than having your own child or tells a couple who can't have kids they should just adopt has obviously never been there or known someone who has. You have pregnancy symptoms of your own. They just aren't as easily recognizable to outsiders. And as my mother has said many times... "Until you know someone who has been there, someone close to you, you just don't get it." I thought I did, but now I know I didn't.
Jimmy and I have been going through some struggles and it's like he said "There are two things it seems God is trying to teach us... Patience and Dependence."
Patience- when your very dreams are held in someone elses hands and timeline, when the very thing you dream of is held in someone else's hand and they give you the requirements of you fufilling your dream, when you are watching everyone else get the one thing you long for the most some of them as a suprise and yet you are being delayed for various reasons....there is no choice but to develop patience.
Dependence- I am looking at a career change. It may be an outright change or just a change in schools but either may come with a drastic change in pay. And we know that with that will come dependence on God to meet our needs, which He is apparently testing now before it happens and perhaps testing our faith to see if we will take the step in faith and obedience, but in my heart I feel that to be a better wife and mother I need a job with a lot less stress. So for now I am job hunting albeit slowly and praying for God's will to be revealed. I ran across a job almost by accident the other day and am really praying that something comes of it. It combines two loves in my life and would be a drastic stress reduction and I am really praying that it comes about... although I am currently still contracted. However I have just under 8 weeks left, so maybe.....
It's interesting how when you are so sure God has called you to something, and you take that step that He then chooses to test your willingness and trust to take that step of faith.
So for now we wait and we trust. And I dream of all the baby stuff I want..... one day. One day at a time.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
and the wait is extended
So I made a monumental mistake recently. I forgot until last minute to send in some reservation paperwork for a class that we need to take with the agency. Sounds like a small mistake right? Wrong! The class is full and we have to wait for another class. Once again, no big deal right? Wrong! It messes everything up. As of March 12, you can no longer get homestudy approved until you have taken this class. The next class isn't until June 9th 2 1/2 hours away. And most grant applications are due May 31, with homestudy approval. So now our wait is extended over 2 months for approval and I don't know what I'm gonna do about grants. So yeah, this was pretty monumental. In all honesty, I thought I sent it off, but sent off another just in case. But no, apparently I did forget. This caused mental breakdown and depression. People say just wait, and pray for a speedy process, but I've waited longer than most people can imagine ande I slowed the process down and made it much longer. This is really really frustrating. I know that there is always a plan and that there are silver linings to every cloud, but sometimes it's hard to see it. I found a pin on pinterest today that said: "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it." I found it before this happened and needed it when it did happen. Today, I'm thankful for a husband who understands that what sounds like something minor and unimportant is very important to me and is a big deal. This will really slow us down. Now I have to pray for even more patience as waiting is very hard.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Finally...the package is ready
The paperwork is done! It only took six weeks to complete it but finally yesterday we completed all of our paperwork and it is ready to send off. There is one page that I need to get white out to fix my mistakes, but other than that it is stacked and ready to go. I'm not sure if I'm gonna try to make the post office or split the envelopes. Probably the latter, knowing me I won't be able to get off work in time. So, I think I'll take the safe side and just split the work in envelopes. So glad it's finally over. Now we just have to hope and pray we are accepted and that we can complete our homestudy. So, anyway... Now to more waiting. I've got to find time to start on our profile book as well. Work is really busy so I have to literally carve out time... but it's so totally worth it.
Today at church I was sitting behind two little girls.... watching them and keeping them from being too loud. I did this a few weeks ago as well. It really made me sit there and think about the day it'd finally be our child. I'm scared we won't be accepted, but thrilled about what God may have in store. Waiting is seriously the hardest.
Today at church I was sitting behind two little girls.... watching them and keeping them from being too loud. I did this a few weeks ago as well. It really made me sit there and think about the day it'd finally be our child. I'm scared we won't be accepted, but thrilled about what God may have in store. Waiting is seriously the hardest.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Cost and Fundraising
So we have a lot of questions about the cost and how much we need to adopt and as of this moment the truth is... I don't really know. There is a very big possibility that the cost has gone up on us in the past few months. We are waiting to hear from our caseworker on rather or not it has been raised and whether they are going by the price we were originally given back in October. We have already paid 650 in application fees. Our next is some more admisistrative and the homestudy fees about $1350 unless of course it has gone up and then we need an additional $500. This we have already raised thanks to a generous donation from some friends. But after that is the big chunk... right now about $6500, possibily $8500 if it's gone up. After that another $1,1000 for final costs. What really could possibly get us is the extra pass through expenses. So yes we are definitely gonna have to fundraising. There have been some questioning as to why are we are fundraising and getting donors... Well my not so generous response was can you just pull that much cash out of your pocket and not blink twice? Probably not. But what a lot of people don't realize is things are different with adoption. I have great insurance and even disability insurance to cover my maternity leave. I upped it a few years ago when we began trying to concieve so that it was close to my pay each month and we would be ok while I was off. Well... it's worth squat to me now. It won't cover my maternity leave because I'm not the pregnant one. I still have to take maternity leave... but oh well... they don't see it that way. Medical insurance is for naught as well. Take into account you really don't know how long you have. Once you are approved it's like being in your ninth month, "any day now" point of your pregnancy. You never know when the call will come. So that really has to be taken into consideration, we don't know how long we have to raise the money. Add to that, it's not like with a deductible at the dr. where you can pay as you can and as long as you make a payment they don't hassle you too horribly. Every thing has to be paid by finalization of the adoption (which could include some major medical if the birth mother doesn't have insurance or medicaid) which is only 6 months after placement. I really don't see it different than a baby shower. People have showers and get baby gifts, we are getting gifts to be able to have our baby..... six of one a half dozen of the other. I don't think people realize how costly adoption really is. Yes there is a tax credit... but that comes AFTER everything has been paid. Our plan is after everything has been paid off (any loans we need) to give a big chunk of anything left back to the church for someone else in need and then put back anything else for the next adoption to give us a step forward.
So we are definitely on the fundraising trip. Not too sure what we are going to do. I know there are some church matching grants, but you have to have an approved homestudy, so I can't apply for those yet and as I already said you never know when the placement call will come. I've been selling some intials and signs I made to help raise money. I'm toying with making some more and some of the crafts that I'm seeing on Pinterest that I know I can easily make and going to some of the local festivals this spring to see if I can raise money. I hate asking for money... but I don't mind so much selling something to raise money. So now I've just got to see if they will really sell and what it will cost me for a booth at the festival. One of the festivals is where I am from and it's a pretty big one and I've seen some things I think I can make easily and sell for a profit.
I'm a little overwhelmed at where I will have time for this though. In between my job as a teacher and all the out of class prep it takes, the amazing amount of paperwork that has to be done, starting our adoption profile book, teaching at church, and just trying to relax and have fun, along with other just general household responsibilities it's really adding up. I'm seriously starting to stress. I think my mom is gonna help me over spring break work hard to do what we need to have things to sell... and we are definitely cutting back on things like eating out and anywhere else we can so that we have extra money to put back and pay off debt and such as that.
I kinda stumbled on being able to do the crafty stuff. I've never been crafty or creative but it has just kinda happened. I guess an answer to prayer. I was praying about how could we raise money and it just kinda popped up. On a different note, it's a good stress reliever
and I've really enjoyed it. Now to see if I can recreate and sell a few of these pieces.
It'll definitely be worth every penny and more, but hopefully that'll explain why we are having to fundraise. When I think about going international (which we plan to at some point), it really makes me cringe cause I know how much more it takes. We will definitely start preparing for that as soon as possible. If you are even considering adoption for the future may I please suggest... start now putting money back. It will really help then if you have already started your adoption account. I wish we had begun putting back as soon as we started considering it instead of waiting until we were closer to pursuing it. Even though we took a few months to really pay off some debt. If I can figure out how from my phone I'll post some of the pics that we took of my arts tuff that we are wanting to sell.
So we are definitely on the fundraising trip. Not too sure what we are going to do. I know there are some church matching grants, but you have to have an approved homestudy, so I can't apply for those yet and as I already said you never know when the placement call will come. I've been selling some intials and signs I made to help raise money. I'm toying with making some more and some of the crafts that I'm seeing on Pinterest that I know I can easily make and going to some of the local festivals this spring to see if I can raise money. I hate asking for money... but I don't mind so much selling something to raise money. So now I've just got to see if they will really sell and what it will cost me for a booth at the festival. One of the festivals is where I am from and it's a pretty big one and I've seen some things I think I can make easily and sell for a profit.
I'm a little overwhelmed at where I will have time for this though. In between my job as a teacher and all the out of class prep it takes, the amazing amount of paperwork that has to be done, starting our adoption profile book, teaching at church, and just trying to relax and have fun, along with other just general household responsibilities it's really adding up. I'm seriously starting to stress. I think my mom is gonna help me over spring break work hard to do what we need to have things to sell... and we are definitely cutting back on things like eating out and anywhere else we can so that we have extra money to put back and pay off debt and such as that.
I kinda stumbled on being able to do the crafty stuff. I've never been crafty or creative but it has just kinda happened. I guess an answer to prayer. I was praying about how could we raise money and it just kinda popped up. On a different note, it's a good stress reliever
and I've really enjoyed it. Now to see if I can recreate and sell a few of these pieces.
It'll definitely be worth every penny and more, but hopefully that'll explain why we are having to fundraise. When I think about going international (which we plan to at some point), it really makes me cringe cause I know how much more it takes. We will definitely start preparing for that as soon as possible. If you are even considering adoption for the future may I please suggest... start now putting money back. It will really help then if you have already started your adoption account. I wish we had begun putting back as soon as we started considering it instead of waiting until we were closer to pursuing it. Even though we took a few months to really pay off some debt. If I can figure out how from my phone I'll post some of the pics that we took of my arts tuff that we are wanting to sell.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Our adoption story
I decided to move blogs over to one solely for our adoption. So I'm gonna backtrack a little if you haven't been following my blog and update on our story. My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years. Our plans when we first got married were simple. Wait two years, then have a family. Have a couple of biological children then we wanted to adopt. We weren't sure where or when just knew that at some point we wanted to adopt. Well fast forward a year and we decided forget the original plan let's go on and start trying, figuring we'd be the typical 2-3 months 6 months max and there'd be a baby on the way. But by the time six months came, we knew something wasn't right. So after the year long wait that the doctor makes you have before they consider infertility, we began the infertility testing. In a way we were lucky, a lot of people go thousands of dollars in to find out what the problem is if they ever do find out and several years. We took a month and a few hundred. Though they don't know all of it we do know enough that having a child biologically at this point will be nothing short of a miracle... or IVF. And IVF wasn't something we were willing to do so a miracle it will take. We took a year, began really researching adoption and then took a one last ditch effort to a reproductive endocronologist thinking there were some other options. When he told us our tests had changed dramatically and IVF was our only chance... well we didn't see it that way. To us it wasn't an option. Personal beliefs and ethical opinions of our own, not to mention a whole lot of cash for a small percentage of it working, we prayed about it and decided there are children out there who need a home. So back to research to pick an agency. We chose Bethany Christian mainly because it is Christian and we really liked what we saw. They also gave us the most information of any agency that we requested information from. So we filed our pre-application and the wait began. In October, we went to our first meeting with the agency, got our questions cleared up, and began the massive paperwork to adopt. To us, when the doctor told us that IVF was it, God didn't shut the door... He slammed it. We knew at that point with the very drastic, unreasonable changes that had occured with the test results that God was clearlyh pointing out that this was His way for us. And though it may not have been in our original plans, we know that His way is always the best. I'm taken back to the verse that I have clung to since high school. "For I know the plans I have for you sayeth the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you a hope and a future." Jer. 29:11
So where are we now:
Adoption process completed:
So where are we now:
Adoption process completed:
- pre-application
- initial meeting
- formal application
- first interview with our social worker
- Just sent off our finger prints
- arranging physicals
- filling out mounds and mounds of paperwork
- second interview (individuals)
- home visit
- fundraising
- making profile books
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