Pure and Undefiled Religion

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27 NIV I've always loved this verse, but over the past 4 years this verse has taken new meaning. Unfortunately that is not necessairily a good thing. My heart has become so open to the "plight of the orphan", but this verse became my personal chip on the shoulder. I can tell you the night it happened. I was sitting next to someone on the couch and talking about where we were in the adoption process, when the person next to me chimed in and said "I wouldn't raise somebody elses kid. You never know what 'problems' they will have." My blood went from cool to boiling in 2 seconds flat. I bit my tongue (which for those of you who know me, know that is terribly hard for me), but I managed to keep quiet. The longer I went the more I steamed. Eventually I told my husband " They say they are such good Christians and better than everyone, well maybe they need to reread their Bible again, because my Bible says.........." Yeah I know judgemental and not very Christlike. But, needless to say, this became my chip on the shoulder verse, the verse that I quoted whenever I was challenged, or someone voiced an unwanted opinion, or was questioned. If I felt judged this was my verse. Let's face it, though I have always wanted to adopt, I am not fully adopting out of a pure and unadultarated unselfishness. I am purely selfish. I want a child, I want to be a parent. We are not adopting a child out of foster care or an orphanage, but an infant. As much as my heart is drawn to older children, we are not at the point that we want to adopt an older child. I want to stay home to be able to bond and adjust and I can't now. And since we have no other children, we aren't wanting to skip past the infancy stage. I've really been looking at how I view this verse and what it really means. Using it for what it should do, not for what I want it to say. Truthfully, not everyone is called to adopt, adoption is a long and hard process and isn't for everyone. And while we are waiting, while we wait for our turn to become parents, there are other things we can do. So with this being National Adoption Awareness Month, and Sunday being Orphan Sunday I've been thinking of ways to reach out to the orphan. And though this post will focus on that end of the verse, we can't forget the other end. Taking care of the elderly and widowed. We may not live in Biblical times where no matter their age they had no hope if widowed to earn money, there are still many people out there who are trying to make it on limited budgets with little help, and there are things that lets just face it are better done by men. So here is the list I've come up with in my head for helping the orphan or those adopting: 1) The birth parent: If you know a birth parent or someone considering choosing an adoption plan: a) PRAY for them Above all else, pray for stregnth, courage, and wisdom to make the right plan whether that is choosing adoption or choosing to parent. b) Offer ENCOURAGEMENT not condemnation. They choose the path that they think is the best offer for their child. Find a way to show some love and encouragement for their decision. Listen when they need to talk. 2)Children: Foster care, orphans, etc. a)ADOPT This is not for everyone, but so many people think and talk about it without ever carrying through. Let me give you a scary fact: If only 7% of all Christians adopted 1 child there would not be an orphan crisis. 7 % of all Evangelical Christians. That's not a big number, and the Bible is clear on God's heart for the orphan. We are all adopted. b) GIVE Every year places look for sponsors to sponsor children overseas. If you are comfortable (and I'd say if you can find one where the majority of your money goes to a child), there is alays that. There are ministries such as Operation Christmas Child that send gifts to children all over the world, including orphanages. DHS looks for sponsors for Christmas to help give gifts from a wish list. Now, let me go on and address something that I know you're thinking, because I have both thought it and hearn others say it. On those wish lists you will see things like an xbox and expensive shoes. People interpret that as greedy, especially if your own kids don't have those things. People feel like the children shouldn't ask for those things. Let's face it: Kids will be kids. They ask for what their friends ask for. They want the things that will make them cool with their peers. That doesn't mean you have to buy it, because just like your kids, they are grateful for anything, but don't fault them for asking for what their peers ask for. They may not fully understand that they are asking to much. Do what you can. As my husband says "Ern is better than Nern." c) VOLUNTEER Mentor, babysit for a foster family (if it is allowed), Tutor, Volunteer for adoption fundraisers and rally's that are hosted by agencies to help raise funds. 3) Adoptive Parents: Maybe you don't feel the call to adopt. It's not for everyone. But there are other ways to show love and to support the adoption process. a) PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY This I can not emphasize enough. The adoption process is long and hard. It's tempting at times to give up and walk away. Your emotions become battered and bruised and sometimes the paperwork and the wait seems like it will never end. Sometimes there is NO light at the end of the tunnel. Pray for stregnth, wisdom, endurance and perseverance, and kindness and empathy to be gracious to those that we come into contact with. If the AP's are not able to bear biological children pray for stregnth during the wait, to deal with insensitive comments, to deal with massive dissappointments, to endure the wait while watching others get their blessings. b) ENCOURAGEMENT Find a way to love on waiting Prospective Adoptive Parents. One of our greatest blessings was people showing up to help us clean for the homestudy. That is a major stress and even though they tell you your house doesn't have to be spotless, you feel like it must be PERFECT! Go eat a meal and LISTEN without judging. It's human nature to want to fix things and sometimes you can get tired of hearing it, I get that. But I know one of my greatest needs is someone who will listen and understand. You don't have to have walked in my shoes, but just be understanding without judging that it is hard. Don't give platitudes, or tell me how I should feel or what should or shouldn't hurt. It does, acknowledge, listen, and encourage. c) GIVE Yeah, you're probably tired of hearing that word. Adopting is financially hard, donate money doesn't matter how much. Help do a fundraiser. Some people hate to sell or ask for money, maybe you are good at it, host a fundraiser and help raise funds. You don't have to have tons of money, we've had little things paid for and that helps. I just got an offer of someone helping to sell things (after 3 years), which is awesome because I HATE, ABSOLUTELY ABHOR, selling. An offer to host a fundraiser is an awesome idea to me. d) SPREAD THE WORD Another fact for you: 85% of all adoptions happen because somebody knows someone. You never know when someone might be considering adoption, but if you hear of someone, then speak up and tell them you know someone who wants to adopt. Mention it even when you aren't sure. I've had a friend hear things in the middle of Walmart and speak up about us. You never know when you might say something which will click with someone. So Share, share, share, share. So far every call and inquiry we have had came from friends. I am sure there are so many more ideas, but these are the ones on my mind. It's not meant as judgement, just the thoughts floating in my mind. I'm thinking that maybe while we wait we need to find otherways to become involved in the adoption/foster care ministry. If you know other ways, please add them. May we all find a way to reach out to those who are less fortunate.